Obligatory Holiday Post

     This is how Christmas themes should be incorporated into heavy metal.  Have a doom filled Christmas! 

I hate it when people listen to music that I don't personally enjoy because I'm better than you.

I hate it when people say they like Whitechapel and they and they aren't talking about this: 

I hate it when people say they like "All that Remains" and they aren't talking about this:

I hate it when people say they like "Veil of Maya" and they aren't talking about this: 

I hate it when people say they like "Deathcore" and they aren't talking about this: 

People don't actually listen to music, they just hear sounds. (part 2)

     Folk metal is probably the most useless genre in metal... seriously.  Listen to this shit from start to finish.  Notice how there aren't any actual riffs?  The only function the guitars serve is for the pretense of being a "metal band" there is actually zero metal going on in this song.  The "riffs" remind me a lot of bands like Linkin Park in the sense that all they do is create an illusion of heaviness by palm muting a hand full of power cords and holding the same cords during the chorus.  This is only metal in an aesthetic sense, the composition in and of itself is closer to modern rock than anything even resembling metal.   The super weak gay melodeath vocals also serve to satisfy this pretense and fail equally.

      I am fully convinced that this dude wants to be a real singer but can't so he just tries to melodically growl hoping it will fit well with the music, it doesn't.  Why is he growling?  is he trying to sound malevolent and foreboding?  Is he trying to sound angry?  Is he trying to show any sort of emotion?  Or is he just simply trying to "do death metal vocals."  Do you think that "Evil Chuck" gave a fuck about "singing death metal style?"  Do you think he practiced using "proper techniques?" Do you think Varg was worried about what might happen to his vocal cords later on in life?  The entire point of harsh vocals in extreme metal is to convey some type of tangible emotion that the listener can relate to in a visceral way without having to necessarily understand the lyrics.  Check out these lyrics, do you think that these require harsh vocals to really make sense in context? Song number 4

     The use of unconventional instruments is nothing more than an ostentatious display of incompetent song writing and an excuse to have an extra 3 people to parade around on stage while 13 year olds gawk at the "uniqueness" of the music.  The object of every band member should be to contribute to the music and ultimately produce art, not show off the the sound that instrument makes.  Estatic Fear also has a hand full of extra members that play "flutes and lutes and shit" but there parts contribute to the music as a hole, not simply play a melody over 3 root notes.  The composition of this song is actually very lazy, it doesn't seem like much thought went into it.  Seriously, try harder.

    This is another example of how "artists" use an aesthetic for a gimmick and manage to sell an undeserved amount of records simply by playing "adjective metal."  Listen to this linkin park song, you will see the similarity in song structure.

rest in piece EVIL CHUCK!

     I don't claim to know whether or not it was Death or Possessed who were the first band to play the genre known as "death metal" but I don't really care.  Chuck Schuldiner was way ahead of his time, only one year after the release of "Kill'em all" Evil chuck is already ripping it up onstage in front of a drug induced audience of four people in Florida.  If that isn't musical genius, I don't know what is! 

Music my fiancé hates (part 2)

     "From Enslavement to Obliteration" is my favorite Napalm Death album, by far.  When I first heard this release it blew me away.  This is one of the few examples of a perfect album.  This album is brilliant from start to finish.  It is unfortunate so many people think of Napalm Death as "that band with the 5 second song olololololololol."  The songs "Dead" and "You Suffer" are actually an ingenious idea for this type of album.  After listening to over 20 1:00 long grind songs you start to get a little bit bored so ND bust out 5 seconds of shear intensity that wakes you up in a heart beat and then blasts you again with another!  After that there are a couple more songs until the album finishes off with a doomy outro.  It truly is amazing.   My fiancé said that she doesn't like it because: "it makes me angry and sad at the same time, it sounds blahhhhhhhhhhh."   Needless to say, I love it.

Music my fiancé hates (part 1)

     I was going for a drive with my fiancé a couple of weeks ago.  We were listening to some starbucks metal band like Alcest.  She told me; "this sounds way better than the horrible stuff you normally listen to."  I asked her what she was referring to when she said "horrible."  She listed off 3 bands, the first one was: Wormphlegm.  

     I love this band!  They only have one album and one demo.  The demo is the first thing I heard from this band and I found if pretty interesting.  The demo inspired me to check out the album, which was way better by far.  This is probably one of my favorite funeral doom albums ever.  It is excellent background music for reading Stephen King or H.P. Lovecraft.

     The album "Tomb of the Ancient King" only has 3 songs, all of which are brilliant.  The shortest song is the one posted and the longest song is over a half hour.  These songs are long, even for funeral doom but they are more than 100% effective in portraying an atmosphere of shear torment (in a good way.)  Listening too this music makes me feel like I'm in a hot sweaty dungeon filled with human excrement awaiting my execution. I know that doesn't sound like a good thing but I love it.

Aortic Regurgitation - Aortic Regurgitation (EP)

     Aortic Regurgitation are a brand new thrash metal band hailing from China.  They show a lot of promise on their first release, but like any debut release it suffers from a few draw backs.

     This is Thrash, which is good and it is also bad.  There is a reason that thrash virtually disappeared when the 90's hit.  Thrash is a very limited genre and is in itself a means to an end.  If thrash metal gets too melodic it turns into power metal and if it become too brutal it becomes death metal, thrash metal is a transitional genre that thrived before heavy metal met its logical extremes.  Although thrash metal is limited in its ability to diversify, it has many branches.  There is a huge difference between Sarcofago's "INRI" and Anthrax's "Among the Living."  Aortic Regurgitation is among the more extreme variety of thrash and borders on death metal, in a similar way to early Sepultura, Kreator and Sodom.

     You have heard this release before and if what I stated in the first paragraph is true it is impossible for you not to have (assuming you are a fan of thrash metal.)  The riffs on this album vary between the German and Brazilian scenes, but every now and then I hear some good ol' mid-paced "bay-area-thrash" palm muting.  The fake drums are brilliantly programmed, they sound like the person behind the computer had just as much experience behind a real drum set because they sound like something a drummer would actually play.  The bass playing is a highlight for me as the bassist seems to understand that it isn't always necessary to mirror the guitarist and strictly play root notes, the bass playing really shines on "Alien Worlds" and "Dementia."  The vocals are good if not fairly stereotypical for extreme thrash (not that its a real problem.)  The real problem is that they are mixed very poorly, and sound like they were recorded on a very poor microphone contrasting the good guitar tone.

     Since I have decided that it is virtually impossible to record a unique thrash album in 2010 the only way to judge a thrash album is the memorability of the song writing itself.  None of the songs on this album are really overtly memorable, the best song would have to be "Dementia," the melody that comes in at the half way point really sines and shows the band's skill as song writers.  "Silent Night" is a great closer and very enjoyable.  That is all I can really say about this EP, other than that it all just kinda blurs together into a homogeneous mass of thrash metal.  I don't know why the longest song on this release is an instrumental, it doesn't make much sense and it reminds me of Metallica (it always bothered me that they did that.)

     This is a good thrash album, and is above the bar for a debut release.  The problems with memorability will no doubt be resolved on future releases that I would be very interested in hearing.  This is also worth checking out if you are interested in extreme metal bands with female vocalists.

Curt's Review: 81%

Download this shit for free and bang your head!
http://www.mediafire.com/?9aqv3h8brpu85cx

Agga - Agga

     Agga, are a gimmick metal band from Florida.  Being a Gimmick metal band isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it takes away from the possible artistic integrity of the artist.  Agga's gimmick is incorporating middle eastern folk music with black/thrash metal and lyrics exclusively about Babylonian mythology.  It is a unique take on an old trend (mixing black metal with folk.)

     Whilst this band isn't as painful to listen as Orphaned Land, there are a few problems with the music that need to be addressed.  The most prominent problem would have to be the thin guitar tone, it sounds a lot like Forest's guitar tone, which would be a good thing if they were playing ambient black metal... unfortunately they are not.  I think that if this dude wants to take his project seriously he really needs to increase production value.  A self produced album can sometimes make the album sound more personal in a positive way (Transilvanian Hunger/As a Song in the Harvest of Grief.)  At other times it can strongly distract from what would otherwise be a good album (Spheres/Reek of Putrefaction.)  As much as I hate modern production values; this release is in dire need of them.  If this was kvlt-as-fvck black metal the production would be perfect, the production is really the only thing that makes this sound like black metal.  The riffs seem more along the generic palm muting  variety that has been in metal since Black Sabbath.  There are a few droning tremolo sections that fit the black metal bill but they are not prominent enough to truly call this black metal. The guitars are mixed on different levels on each song which takes away from any atmosphere that may have otherwise been created.  The harsh vocals are pretty week although I don't blame this on the vocalist as much as I blame it on the microphone.  The last problem I am going to bring up is the fact that every song on this album has a fade-out ending... any atmosphere that wasn't killed off by the production was destroyed by the fade-outs.

     The previous paragraph makes me sound like a hater, I'm not a hater.  I actually dig this release, even though it isn't thrash metal or black metal.  The clean chanting vocals are really cool, even though they are cheesy as nachos and only semi on-key.  They sound very hypnotic and succeed in the creation of a dark and mystical atmosphere, which is the ultimate goal this album strives for.  The fake drums sound good, even though they are at a different volume level on each song.  Although Agga have a painfully cheesy gimmick in a conceptual sense, the project portrays the ancient civilization of Babylon in a very convincing way.

     Now that I have gone through my list of "likes" and "dislikes" of the outward aesthetic, I will proceed to through my arbitrary opinion at the music itself.  The song writing is very good.  This dude knows how to write convincing, unique and memorable melodies.  I get parts of these songs stuck in my head days after hearing them.  The only problem with the actual song writing is that the choruses are repeated far too frequently (especially on the song "The Lord of Babylon.")  Despite what I said about the production and the lack of song endings destroying atmosphere, there is plenty of atmosphere left on the album due to the brilliant song writing.  I have to say that every song on this release is very good (in my opinion.)  My only significant complaint is the production.  I would like to hear these songs the way they are intended to be heard!

Listen to Agga for free!

Curtis Review" 78%

Do the world a favor and start a funeral doom metal band

     Tex made a post about how unappreciated doom metal is in regard to other genres.  I am going to continue on this train of thought but focus exclusively on Funeral Doom.  I am going use metal archives to support all of my information.

There are 320 Funeral Doom bands world wide
There are 1014 Black metal bands in Brazil
There are 324 Death metal bands in Portugal
There are 715 Melodic Death metal bands in the United States

Despite the fact that Funeral Doom originated in Finland, there are only 23 bands that represent the genre from that country.  There are 756 Black Metal bands, 991 Death metal bands and 115 power metal bands from Finland.  Here is my final "Fun Fact" out of all 320 Funeral Doom Bands, only 242 are active.  You can criticize "Bedroom" Funeral Doom as much as you like, but you have to keep in mind how few of these bands there are in comparison to bedroom Djent projects, or terrible "black metal" solo projects.

     Some people would say that there is no room for experimentation in Funeral Doom and there is very little that can done by way of experimentation do to the limitations placed on the genre.  I believe that slower soundscapes provide more room for variations on different themes in a more natural progression than any other metal genre.  I understand that you want to show off how fast you can shred and how tight your blast beats are but extreme music isn't about how fast you play... it's about art and expression, which is what Funeral Doom offers above anything else.

The mark of brilliant song writing.

      Today at work I had this song stuck in my head.

     I haven't listened to Bruce Dickinson in at least 5 years, and I didn't even listen too it that much then.  Whenever I have a craving for BD's voice I usually just throw on an Iron Maiden album.  Truth is, this album is much more solid than many Iron Maiden albums.  The songs are all very strait forward, the production is fairly modern but still pretty gritty, there isn't anything pretentious or flashy.  This is where the albums strength lies; you won't hear any ostentatious acoustic intro that lasts over 2 minutes or any song that lasts over 6 minutes. The aforementioned facts alone puts this album above Iron Maiden's last two outputs.  The songs are also very well composed, the choruses are more interesting than your typical one or two words repeated ad infinitum commonly found in traditional metal (not that it's a bad thing, although it does not make for unique songs.)   I figured I would throw on the title track as well to give a sample of what I'm talking about.

    Listen to this album, if you are anything like me; the songs will be stuck in your head for years.

People don't actually listen to music, they just hear sounds. (part 1)

     I know what you're thinking: "I don't get it Curt, listening to music is hearing sounds."  What you are thinking is totally correct although there is much more to music than simply "sound."  Before I start explaining what it is exactly I'm getting at I will share a fun tune, pay attention!

     Did you actually listen to it and pay attention?  I understand that it is pretty hard to sit through an entire five minutes of this nonsense.

Fun Fact: people hear this music and like it
Fun Fact: these people don't actually listen to music

Hearing Sound:

Synth: Creates a symphonic atmosphere making the music "epic" and "spooky."
Guitar: Sick shredding!!!!
Drums: SUPER FAST BLAST BEATS!!!!!1 making the music brutal
Vocals: Grunts making it death metal, clean vocals making it "melodic"
Bass: Tremolo picked madness!!!!

Listening to music:
   
     Okay, all of the above elements are things that would be a decent recipe for a good melodic death metal band.  When it actually comes to the music there is absolutely no song writing competency.  This "music" has absolutely zero substance.  The into is totally pointless and doesn't contribute to the song in any way except to flatter a false pretense of sophistication.  The drums are terrible, the triggering is so over the top that they don't even sound like drums.  For all its worth they might as well have a drum machine. The clean vocals are horrendous, the growls are totally devoid of any passion.  The only time you hear the guitar it is during a solo. Apparently this is considered "good" production.  I would take "under a funeral moon" over this any day based on production alone, at least I can hear the guitar on that album.

     I just read the lyrics, they are about some chick dying in her blood or something... I don't really get it.  The video has NOTHING to do with ANY of the lyrics.  Why are they dressed like faggots? Why are their faces covered in soot? Why is their keyboardist playing a real piano?  The only part about the video I like is the part where the one band member kills the rest of the band and then himself.  LOL self pwnage.

     I can understand why this music appeals to drummers, their is some really fast blasting going on, it probably makes them cum.

    Why do other people like this music?  People hear the outward aesthetic of the music rather than the actual substance.  People get stoked as soon as they hear the pretentious intro.  Then when the "metal" starts they get super pumped!  The obnoxious drum triggers make them start hardcore dancing and headbanging until all of their brain cells are destroyed.  I forgot to mention that their guitarist sweeps, this really impresses the unschooled metal head, I have never fully understood why.

     What it all boils down to is that people don't actually listen to music, they just hear sounds.  Rather than judging the music for its actual composition, people just hear aesthetics and production.  Today I chose FGA because they fit the bill for bad modern production and lack of song writing skill.  I could have easily chosen COF or Dimmu for this post but those bands actually have more substance.  I am going to make at least one more post on this topic, there are lots of gimmicky bands with no substance out there.

If you wan't to have keyboards in death metal; do it like this:

   
posted by curt

Do The World a Favour and Start a Doom Metal Band.

Why is it that Doom Metal seems to be pushed to the wayside so often? Oh yes, I always see people discuss it in at least one token thread on every online metal forum and there are some bands with relative popularity. (Candlemass - duh, St. Vitus, Cathedral, and especially if you want to count Black Sabbath) However, in real life (my boring reclusive life at least) it rarely seems to come up when I'm talking with my metalhead buds or when I meet someone new (which is seldom anyway).

Even in the digital realm Doom Metal doesn't get the representation other genres do. There are the hardcore die-hard fans of course (http://doom-metal.com/) but there doesn't seem to be a lot of casual doom listeners floating around.

Metal blogs and forums are always choked with and endless barrage of black or death metal discussion:
 "<3 Burzum" "Check out this shitty black metal band, so fvcking vndergrovnd!!!!" "Obscure brutal death metal from (shithole country)". etc. etc. etc.
Metal Archives lists 19,886 black metal bands and a whopping 28,035 death metal bands in existence! Doom metal has a lowly 6,120 entries.

Now I love black metal and death metal... but how many more drum machine bedroom fuzzfests do we really need? I've been told really bad bedroom funeral doom is a growing trend now too, but I think it's far from being an epidemic like shitty black and death metal has become.

I don't know why so few are motivated to play Doom. There's the apparent lack of listeners, but there'll always be the few dedicated fans in the underground, and more good bands can only lead to more people hearing of and giving Doom a shot. The "slowness" and the lack of showing off one's ubershredzskillz may be offputting to some, but anyone who makes or listen to music as art and not a theatrical side show should be able to see the merits of Doom metal. It may be incredibly inaccessable, even for fans of the already inaccessble(ish) genre of metal as a whole, but it's not too hard to acclimatize one's self to this awesome music.

Start with this:

Then this:

Then this:

Then just keep going! See? You too can enjoy Doom metal. You don't have to be a fat neckbeard stoner piece of shit, you just have to like metal and appreciate good art! Now, round up your buddies, start a Doom band and get it out there! I don't want Doom to be the next big thing, but a bit more recognition in the underground would be awesome. The day I get a message saying "Review my Epic/Trad Doom band from (shithole country)" is the day my faith in humanity is restored. (a little...)     

Posted by Tex.                           

Spotlight: Estatic Fear

     I was honestly a tad bit surprised when I managed to find this song in its entirety on youtube, not only is this TFU (true fucking underground) it is brilliant music that deserves way more attention.  The length of this song seems is very daunting at first, but if you are the type of person that enjoys listening to albums from start to finish it really shouldn't be much of a problem.

     There are several ways to write an "epic" song.  You can follow the "progressive rock" format "Rush" set out; with "The Fountain of Lameth" and "2112." Which is essentially stringing 5 or 6 songs together with the same theme.  This is  by far the easiest way of composing this type of song.  Another common method is beginning with one theme and gradually expanding on it in a "stream of consciousness" format, with very little repetition.  One melody will gradually turn into a totally different melody.  This is commonly enacted by bands like "Esoteric" and "Skepticism." It is much more challenging to write a song in this style effectively, but if done properly creates an amazing atmosphere.  

     The interesting thing about "Somnium Obmutum" is that it fits into both of the aforementioned categories.  Rather than having several songs with no breaks in between "Estatic Fear" choose to bridge many short song together with interludes that become so interwoven it's hard to tell when one song stops and the next begins making this song feel more like one entity.  It is very difficult to place this band in a specific genre category due to the shear volume of influences present.  Although there are many symphonic instruments, they seem to function simply as instruments, rather than a backdrop for the "metal."  I find it very interesting how the symphonic instruments come into play, it almost feels like traditional folk/classical with metal influences, rather than the reverse.

     Although this is an amazing musical achievement for this band, there are a few downfalls.  The most noticeable problem is that "starts" and "stops" occur far too frequently.  There are many sections in the song where the music will stop abruptly and only one instrument will play.  After the single instrument plays for a short while the music abruptly starts again, disrupting the flow and preventing this work from becoming a true masterpiece.

     It is shame that this band split up, I believe that they had the potential to create something truly magnificent, instead we just have something that is exceptionally good.  I would recommend this album to anyone who enjoys epic music, metal or otherwise.

Listen to metal and enjoy your life.

Have you ever seen this abomination?

Hello There Fellow Metalheads
Instead of a Metal rebellion i propose a new plan.
1. Instead of bashin other metal artists, we need to unite. We cant fight against pop music if we arent even together.
2.) Watch more and other metal videos to get it to the top of the youtube vid list
3.)Instead of bashing pop, promote metal with logical reasons, not just METAL RULES
If you like this idea, thumbs it up JUST so people can see it, and also spread it around if you like this idea.


This is a prime example of the childish mentality that exists in the vast majority of metal heads in their teenage years.  This behavior is actually fairly understandable, even if it is ridiculous.

     Imagine you're 14, you attend an average sized highschool, you've just recently discovered the genre "heavy metal," and your eyes have been opened to a new world never before experienced.  One of your friends posted an In Flames song on your facebook wall and you listened to it 8 times in a row before your Mom finally told you to go to bed.  While you were listening to this song on repeat, you downloaded the entire In Flames discography on a torrent site, and uploaded it onto your 80 gig Ipod.

     Your last block of school is P.E. (Physical Education) and you have big plans to hang out in the weight room with your 2 friends and lift weights while listening to this new SUPER UNDERGROUND EXTREME BRUTAL DEATH METAL/SCREAMO BAND you have been a fan of for the past 12 hours.  You get down to the weight room, pull out the Eminem CDR that the older kids were listening to and hook your Ipod into the P.A.  After about 2 minutes your Ipod is in the garbage, Eminem is back on the stereo, and your chased out of the weight room by 6 steroid injected grade 11 students.

     After school you come home, your confused, frustrated, and pissed off.  When a person insults something you care about. it makes you angry, even if it is something that is as unimportant as music.  You proceed to the computer room where you are going to go on youtube and see if you can find some "angry" music that you feel you can connect with.  Unfortunately you find videos like this instead:

    Due to the fact that your sole identity is in music, you are deeply offended by this!  This hurts your feelings and makes you super pissed!  So you make a reply video that attempts to justify metal.  The next thing you know metal fags are commenting on your video telling you that In Flames are gay and you should be listening to "true metal" like "White Chapel."

      If you are reading this blog and you feel like your the kid I'm describing, I have some advise.  Listen to Electric Wizard and chill out.  Not everyone is going to like the music you like and that is the way the world should be.  You don't need to convert other people to heavy metal music to reserve a place in Valhalla.  Your music isn't better than anyone else's music.  Identifying yourself with music created by other people, doesn't make you a unique individual.  Bashing Justin Beiber doesn't make you cool and music is entertainment.  I am a huge Summoning fan, Tex is not, is that the end of the world?  No.  Try to have a life outside music, you will be a happy person.

Listen to metal and enjoy your life.

posted by Curt

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT NONE OF Y'ALL PEOPLE THINK!!!!!!!!

THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD IS BACK, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mild Mannered Misogyny - Stronger Mind, Stronger You! (Tex's Review)

This demo is a one-man death/pornogrind project full of deathy riffage, slammy breakdowns and retarded porn samples all crammed into four two to three minute tracks. Main man Philip Thomas Wentworth, with the help of a few guest musicians, has given us this ridiculous, albeit shockingly musical breed of grind that he calls “pinchcore” (pretty sure it’s a joke… pretty sure this whole thing is a joke).

I was really surprised to hear some actual riffs and song structure from a one-man joke grind band, not just complete noise. The riffs are often either chugging or ringing chords supplemented with some chaotic pinchy riffing. Actually the pinchyness of the riffs doesn’t bother me like I expected it to and there are even some riffs with an almost old-school feel to them. It’s definitely more death than it is grind/core.

The vocals and drums are also surprisingly well done. The drum programming is competent, following and complimenting the riffs well, sounding like what a real drummer might actually play. The vocals are gurgley but mostly comprehensible growls for the most part, though some clean vocals pop up in second track “A Romantic Dinner for Two” and last track “Do it Now.” Not sure if they really work in the context, but I appreciate the attempt.

Porn samples usually annoy the piss out of me, but they grew on me in the release somehow. Probably because they’re actually funny and are within the songs, not just used as intros and outros. Still pretty stupid though. There are some really cool ideas on this demo, the standout being the pan flute(?) section in “Horny.”(lolwut?) However, there isn’t enough variety between songs or anything really awesome that makes me want to come back to it. The fact that I generally dislike joke bands doesn’t help either. If you’re into porno/gore themed death/grind check it out. It’s pretty decent for what it is.

Tex's rating: 66%

Mild Mannered Misogyny - Stronger Mind, Stronger you! (Curt's review)

     Mild Mannered Misogyny is a one man project, headed by "Philip Wentworth."  Ironically enough this is the same Philip Wentworth who played guitar for the "girlfriend metal band"   Desiderium and probably at least a hundred other bands.  Philip actually described this project better than I ever could, here is his description: 


Mild Mannered Misogyny was Philip Thomas Wentworth's idea to combine his concept of boring, generic death metal riffs and drum machine patterns with near-constant pinch harmonics and extremely offensive lyrics for no reason at all. It was essentially a joke with no punchline. 

After considering the creation of an absurdly offensive, experimental full-length concept album he decided instead to abandon the project and focus more on producing and playing in more serious bands.

     I Honestly don't find these lyrics to be "extremely offensive," I actually find them to be very "mild mannered," nothing even manages to touch Cannibal Corpse in terms of vulgarity.  I have always found bands like Anal Cunt and The Raunchous Brothers to have lyrics that are hilarious and offensive, but this isn't that funny or offensive.  Lyrically this really falls short of "so offensive it's funny" and sounds  more like someone who got rejected by 26 girls on POF and attempted to write "mean" lyrics out of sexual frustration.  The lyrics are mostly abut unfortunate things happening to slutty chicks, which most people enjoy.  The lyrics are especially stupid on the song "Romantic Dinner for Two" it is about killing a chick that is cheating on you.  My favorite line is:


Thrust the knife, whore die
Thrust the knife, boy die
Thrust the knife, whore die
Thrust the knife, slut cry 

   Every time I listen to this song I immediately think of a more childish version of "Cheater" by "Judas Priest."


    Philip describes MMM's music as being "Pinch Core," I hope he is kidding.  It is actually just really generic slam death metal with way too many annoying pinch harmonics.  Some of the riffs are really cool and remind me of Devourment and sometimes even Suffocation.  The greatest strength of this EP is how catchy all the songs are throughout their short duration.  Every song has at least one memorable moment (for better or worse.)  There are a couple of dumb porn samples that will never measure up too XXX Maniak in a million years.  The br00tal vocals are done fairly well but sound really weak, there are a few clean vocals that don't sound out of place (oddly enough.)

     If Philip picks up this project again, I suggest he take notes from the above.

Curt's Rating: 69%

http://mildmannered.bandcamp.com/album/stronger-mind-stronger-you

Sold My Soul to Manilla Road!

Sometimes I just really hate metalheads. But I too am a metalhead! How could I hate my brothers? But really, does anybody truly love their retarded siblings, or is it just and endearing form of tolerance, ready to crack at any moment?

What I’m really talking about here are the kind of mindless twats who only “listen” to extreme metal, and for fucking painful reasons. I’ve been encountering these people more and more both in real life and on the cesspool of human atrocities that is the internet. Now, I likes me my extreme metal, but some people make me ashamed to be in any way associated with it.

The thing that immediately makes me rage about these people is the shunning of traditional or other “lighter” forms of metal. If you simply don’t like it I get excuses like “It’s not heavy enough” or “It’s gay!” or “It’s not even METAL!!!!!1”(fucking brilliant, huh?) Sorry kids, but extreme metal branched off from a genre of music called heavy metal. “Heavy” is not the determining word there, “metal” is. Suffocation is certainly “heavier” than say, Judas Priest. However, just because metal keeps getting more extreme, doesn’t mean that less extreme bands cease to be metal. It’s less heavy, yes. But not less metal, by any means. Now, people could argue forever about what makes something “heavy”, but that is a meaningless argument in this context since heavy does not equal metal and more importantly nor does it equal quality music.

Anyone who denies that this is not only metal, but quality music, is a piece of shit. No exceptions:

When someone expresses the aforementioned retarded opinions, they also tend to look like this: Fat. Really fat. Bald or balding. Shitty stubble beard. Wiley drunken unfocused eyes, no sign of intelligent life behind these empty sockets of lost humanity. I feel no kinship with these people.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that these people probably don’t actually “listen” to music, they just “hear” it. (I’m sure Curt or I or both of us will go on a lengthy rant about this sometime in the future) They hear something that sounds “heavy” or “brutal” or “extreme” to them on a completely superficial level without really experiencing it in a visceral way, or truly experiencing it at all really. It’s just there so they can be that extreme metalhead guy. I don’t care how many Goregrind EPs you ordered off a shitty distro unless the music contained on them actually happens to be good, and you wouldn’t know if it was anyway.

There are also people who claim that extreme metal is like the “purified” essence of metal, distilled of all rock and blues influence. At least they’re trying to make a valid argument, but… No. You’re wrong. The influences of early heavy metal made it what it is. There is no removing the “metal” and putting it on its own, when it is an amalgamation formed into a new entity. It can only be stretched, beaten, defiled and added to. Your favourite extreme metal band does not contain more metal than Black Sabbath, it’s only a different form of it. If metal gets fucked up enough to be considered a new form of music, its sound far enough removed from traditional metal, then fair enough. But I don’t think we’re there yet, nor will we be very soon. It also wouldn’t be metal anymore, so fuck you.

This is the “essence” of metal:

So is this:

One is more extreme than the other, but they’re both metal and both worth listening to. However, this is better than both:

And just as bad as the elitist I-listen-to-every-underground-extreme-metal-release-ever are the ones who don’t even listen to good extreme metal. Don’t ask me if I’ve heard of this new kick ass band Children of Bodom you just heard last week, because you’re an idiot and I hate you. Don’t tell me I should listen to Behemoth and Dimmu Borgir because Iron Maiden is too “light” and “gay”. The bands you like aren’t extreme on any level other than a completely transparent façade. They are metal, I’m sad to admit, and you may think they’re “heavy” but they suck. I don’t hate these bands for being mainstream or “untrue,” (I like all sorts of metal that some would consider “gay mainstream bullshit”) I just happen to really dislike them and consider them to be extremely poor excuses for extreme metal. Don’t be the guy who tells me to listen to the new Pestilence album either. I love Pestilence, but fuck you.

There also seems to be an unrelenting cascade of new shitty death and black metal bands popping up all the time. Along with these shitty bands are some really good ones, but it seems, as with just about everything in life, the shit outweighs the good. It seems that metal is becoming overpopulated with extreme metal. I’m not one for ethnic cleansing per se, but just being extreme doesn’t cut it. You need to write some good material too. And if you feel the need to be 100% unoriginal, could you rip off this:

instead of this :

Posted by Tex

Spotlight: Equinox

     This is probably the most obscure first wave black metal band, period.  Only 66 copies of this album exist, I am proud to say I own one because I'm kvlt-as-fvck.  Most of these songs were recorded in 1986 with the goal of making the most evil sounding music possible.  To say that this album sounds like shit is a gross understatement, this is truly awful.  All of the songs are recorded live in what I can only assume is a garage with a tape recorder.  The single guitar (if you are a bassist don't entry) is rarely on time with the drums.  If this was recorded in 2011 it would immediately be dismissed as shit, if this was recorded in 1990 it would be dismissed as shit.  This was recorded in 1986/1987 and the band knew it was shit and didn't bother releasing it until 2010.   

     Although this band sounds awful there are some ideas going on here that are actually revolutionary.  The song "Door of Death" only has 3 riffs and attempts at creating an evil atmosphere through droning tremolo picking, if this was recorded better it would have sounded like a Darkthrone song.  If this band had access to a studio they could have made a record that would be considered a clasic black metal album.  Unfortunately this never happened and all we get is noise on a CD that almost resembles music.  

     This release shows the true underground metal spirit.  These guys didn't care if anyone listened to their music, they didn't try to sound pretty, they didn't try to show off.  All they wanted to do was play the most extreme music possible.  In 86 it took balls to play music like this, and I give these guys props!  If you want to be kvlt-as-fvck like me, you can order this CD from Salute Records (if it is still available.)  Anyway, check out this video!

  

http://saluterecords.yolasite.com/

Posted by Curt 

Auspicium – Hope Is All you Have (Tex's Review)

Actually there is no hope for this demo, so you’re left with essentially nothing. This is some really painfully “bedroom” black metal: Poorly written, performed and recorded. All the songs follow the same structure of long clean intro with many overlapping guitar parts played out of time (and often out of key) – abrupt shitty black metal part – outro that’s the same as the intro.

I’m not sure what the first song, “The Flame of Man Dies in Twilight” (lol) is supposed to be. It doesn’t work as an intro, as it doesn’t flow into the next track or do anything but set up the boring formula for the rest of the songs. The second song “I will never Forget Your Face” (lol) showcases the worst of the off time playing. Once the black metal kicks in, it’s truly awful. This guy couldn’t even play to a drum machine / click, so he mixed it super low hoping you wouldn’t notice. It doesn’t help. The mixing and production itself is just awful in general. Horrible tone, fluctuating levels. It’s what you’d expect from bedroom black metal.

This song also contains some horrible blatant mistakes. The lead at the end has a bunch of wrong notes. He’s constantly hitting incorrect notes and sliding to the right note in the riffs. This demo sounds like it’s supposed to be super atmospheric and dreamy, pretty sounding stuff, so there’s no way this can be passed off as being dissonant on purpose. It’s just shitty playing. I like the style he’s going for, but this demo just simply does not achieve that sound, or anything for that matter.

The last two songs are exactly the same as the first two, so they won’t get much comment. However “The Opportunist” has about a minute of nifty clean vocals, much better than the vocals on the rest of the demo which are sparsely utilized and seem misplaced when they are used.  Really the vocals don’t serve much of a purpose. They can’t save the songs. The title track is pretty much worthless.

It sounds like this guy had about an hour before his parents got home to write and record this entire thing, no time to account for the myriad blatant mistakes in his playing, and most certainly no time to learn how to write songs or play black metal. I appreciate the style and sound I think this demo is supposed to get across, but it just does not deliver.

Tex’s rating: 23%

            Oh, did I mention this guy is pretentious as all fuck? Check out these quotes from his myspace page. Read ‘em and LOL:

“Songs for midnight walks along the ocean shore, shadowed by the mountains and forests, under the stars, drunk as can be. ....If you do not know me or do not enjoy my music, do not add me. If you aren't interested in my work, I am definitely not interested in your pathetic attempts at rap music, your "emo" bands, how you look with some stupid name written on your underage tits, or how many friends you can get by clicking here. Seriously. Save me the time of having to delete you. .. .. ..”

He doesn’t like underage tits… I don’t even…

His influences include:

“Waves as they hurl themselves at the stones. Oceans of stone. A little stream with a waterfall that no one else has ever seen. The endless sky. A tree in winter, fighting back the wind.”

And apparently his music sounds like:

            “Triumph and failing in one breath.”

Remove a couple words and this would be a fairly accurate statement. Hope you kids enjoyed!

Here’s the download link for those of you brave enough to venture: http://blackmetalownsyou.blogspot.com/2011/07/auspicium-hope-is-all-you-have-demos.html

Auspicium – Hope is all you Have (Curt's review)

     I usually don’t like to shit on other people’s creativity, especially when they are trying to express themselves through unique music in a genre I love.  I also like to generally give demos the benefit of the doubt and provide artists with constructive criticism; rather than unnecessary ridicule. 

     The first time I listened to this demo, it immediately reminded me of depressive black metal acts like Trist and Hypothermia (especially Trist.)  I thought that the swirling reverb, atrocious guitar tone and off time melodies were meant to conjure a spirit of nihilistic bleakness... they don’t.  After listening to “Hope is all you Have” a second time I realized that it was actually just another “post rock/black metal” band attempting to make a name for itself in a flooded genre. 

     The first song is an instrumental and doesn’t really feel like a proper intro; it feels more like a stand alone track.  It has some dumb noise in the background and some atonal guitar riffs going on as well.  There is a “melody?” over top that is out of key with the background noise (if that’s possible.)  The timing is so horrendous in this track, I question whether or not this dude could even be bothered to use a metronome.  This intro made me think of a half assed attempt at Xasthur and is one of the reasons I mistook the band as depressive black metal.  

     The rest of this album has lots of layers of guitar that all bleed together into a homogonous mass of nonsense.  Many of these layers have misplaced notes which render them out of key with the rest of the music.  The guitar tone doesn’t help much ether; it is drenched in reverb and the distortion sounds incredibly weak and muffled.  I think that the overuse of reverb was an attempt at covering up all the mistakes, if that is the case it didn’t work.  There is a LOT of places where the timing is totally off, the tremolo picking is inconsistent and the guitarist hits wrong notes.  The most common mistake is when his finger hits the wrong part of the fret and makes a buzzing noise, it is obvious he recorded this demo in one take (or at least I hope so.) 

     There are a few positive aspects of this demo as well, there are a few melodies here and there where every layer comes together and is on time!  These moments really shine and provide hope for this band.  The clean vocals are also surprisingly well done (although misplaced) they are like a cross between early Ulver and Alcest.  The harsh vocals on the other hand are really dumb… they don’t display any emotion and are there just so they can “look like a black metal band.”  It sounds like the vocalist was trying to do his vocals really quietly so that he wouldn’t wake up his parents in the next room.

     This demo is really bad… plain and simple; this doesn’t mean that Auspicium suck.  I think that there is some potential with this band.  Auspicium have 2 full-length albums making a release like this inexcusable.  Apparently this demo is going to be re-recorded with real drums, hopefully when this is done everything else will be also reworked.  Until then, hope is all I have for this band. 

Curt’s rating: 37%

Just because I don’t like it, doesn’t mean you won’t like it!  Check these guys out and support the underground!

http://blackmetalownsyou.blogspot.com/2011/07/auspicium-hope-is-all-you-have-demos.html

Acrasia – Acrasia (Curt’s Review)

    Acrasia are a progressive/extreme metal band from the states.  I have been listening to their self titled release over and over again and every time I do, I hear something different.  In one listen a person can hear influences ranging all they way from Atheist to Dream Theater. 

     The band has a very modern sound with both the instrumentation and the crystal clear production.  The production is just rough enough to sound “metal” but clear enough to sound modern and professional.  Everything fits into place perfectly and unlike most modern production the drums aren’t obnoxiously overpowered.

     Every member of this band is very talented, the vocalist caries brilliant melodies and is never out of key, he also does harsh vocals which are deep and powerful, never sounding forced or week.  The guitar playing is very tight and the guitar solos are brilliantly executed.  Many of the riffs are extremely technical and the drums are always pummeling through at perfect volume delivering consistent and varied patterns that hold your attention without sounding obnoxious (like Nile.)   

     The strength and weakness of this release is the fact that there is so much variety in the songs.  “Frostbitten Sky” has some very cool Agalloch inspired melodies underneath a Dream Theatre styled rhythm section.  If that’s not weird enough at the half way point a very Cynic influenced jazz section comes in pulling the song in a totally different direction, yet it doesn't seem forced.  In fact, all the changes in style (in this song) not only sound natural but necessary.  “Osedax” on the other hand feels incredibly awkward and poorly arranged with a sever lack of focus.  There is a surf rock section which probably entertains drunken people in a live setting but it prevents me from taking the song seriously.  After the surf rock silliness comes some very awkward sounding riffs that are probably “ultra super tech” but actually sound really dumb.  These awkward riffs keep shifting and changing until they turn into a full on “break down” that doesn’t add anything to the song.  The worst part about this song is that the first 2 minutes are awesome… I guess that is what the skip button is for. 

     All of the songs on this album have strengths and weakness, some of the songs could have unnecessary sections removed but there isn’t anything really stupid going on.  For me the highlights are “Frostbitten Sky” and “Pulse” both of these songs are good examples of when everything pulls together and sounds great.  I also really liked the saxophone section in “Contextual Relevance” it wasn’t near as ostentatious as I expected it to be and fit the song nicely without sounding like an Ihsahn gimmick.  “The Man Who Spoke in Brail” is also worth mentioning, even though it is way too long and has a stupid title.  The song has some amazing parts in it as well as an amazing chorus. 

     I am very surprised this band hasn’t been picked up by a major label.  These guys know how to play their instruments and write music that will appeal to a large audience.  I look forward to seeing what this band does next.  Any fan of progressive metal should check this out NOW!  You can buy this album for $10 at their bandcamp page and I recommend it.   

Curt’s rating: 88%

http://acrasia.bandcamp.com/

Rottenomicon - Fuck you Very Much (Curt's review)

    When I first heard the name "Rottenomicon" It immediately made me think of some sort of evil comic book convention.  Apparently it is a Greek word that in English means: "An Image of the Rotten Law."  After listening to this demo and reading the lyrics this band truly portrays an image of the decaying society that we live in.

     I can tell that these guys are very influenced by early-mid 90's death metal especially Napalm Death.  Many of the riffs present strongly remind me of the "Harmony Corruption" album but it would be silly to call this band a "Napalm Death" rip off.  Musical influences are all over the place but it doesn't seem like the band has a musical identity of its own.  Most of this album is very forgettable and sounds like "generic death metal."  What would have helped make the riffs stand out would be more drumming variation.  If there were a few half time sections with the drumming it would make the riffs stand out much more on their own.  There are some really cool melodic solos in the last 2 songs and I would have liked to hear more of these.  Vocally this reminds me of the guttural style Chris Barns adopted on "Butchered at Birth."  

     The lyrics are very political in an all encompassing sort of way (like Napalm Death), there is nothing overly specific that would prevent a person from a different country from appreciating what is said.  I can tell that these guys speak English fairly well from reading their lyrics so there is no excuse for the title.  There is nothing clever or witty about the title "Fuck you Very Much" it is incredibly childish.  Seriously... are you 13? 12? no? but I digress... 

     I really like this release and I enjoyed listening to it, these guys are talented musicians that are drawing influences from the right places.  Despite the fact that I said a lot of negative things, I honestly do appreciate what this band is trying to accomplish.  This is death metal and there is nothing overtly bad about it, I am sure that in time this band will develop and identity of their own and when they do, I will be listening to it and banging my head!

Check these guys guys out, there is no way you can like death metal and not like this band:
http://www.reverbnation.com/rottenomicon

Curtis Review: 70%

Rottenomicon – Fuck You Very Much (Tex's review)

Rottenomicon is a death metal band that incorporates some thrashy and groovy riffing with modern brutality. The riffs throughout the demo remind me of mid-paced old school death metal like Obituary and Cannibal Corpse’s groovier moments, minus the technicality of the latter band. The band focuses mainly on keeping it simple and brutal, however there are some nice melodic touches now and again such as a few riffs in the second track “losesdupicia.”

The drumming is a near constant barrage of double kicks and blast beats that keeps the songs ploughing forward. While not varying much, the playing is very tight, powerful and energetic. The bass isn’t very prominent, but it serves to add necessary chunkiness to the riffs. The production is perfect for this kind of release, clear but still a bit gritty with natural sounding drums, and heavy but not over-processed guitars.

Vocally, this demo is very one track. The vocals are basically two-tone: guttural and more guttural. Considering the straight forward death metal sound the band seems to be going for though, this is perfectly acceptable. While not very versatile, the vocals are incredibly powerful and define the word “sick.” Just what you’d want from this kind of release.

It would have been nice to hear some more leads or solos, as the one that appears halfway through the last track “Infectious Perceptions” really helped to spice up what would have been just another four minutes of heavy riffs. While I appreciate that the band has a solid idea of what they’re going for and don’t screw around or feel the need to really show off, the three songs do all have relatively the same feel and tempo, nothing really separating one song from the other. I’m also not really digging the title of the demo as it makes me think of some third rate tough guy Lamb of God shit rather than face smashing death metal.

Essentially, these guys have a very focused and solid sound. They know what they’re doing and they do it well, but while decent, even good, it’s just not remarkable. The songs, while heavy, brutal and fun, really need some kind of hook to set them apart. This band has their sound down, now they just elaborate on song ideas and create something more memorable.

Tex's rating: 67%

Acrasia – Acrasia (Tex's review)

Acrasia is a progressive / death metal band (Yay, a band! With multiple people in it!) that plays complex yet memorable and fun music that draws heavily from both its prog and death influences. This band reminds me most of something like Between the Buried and Me but predominantly metal and with more concise song lengths and structure. I also hear a lot of elements that remind me of modern proggy death metal like Obscura, especially in the clean breaks and super melodic leads and solos.

The compositions make use of a heavy to clean and back method that allows for a great variety of textures and moods. The band also uses enough riffing variety and have more than enough ideas to keep this kind of dynamic change from becoming predictable. The band jumps from straight blasting and dissonant riffing to soaring melodic leads to slower groovy riffs to mellow clean parts and these transitions are almost always well placed and the songs rarely bog down with misplaced ideas. The song that presents the best of every nuance you’ll hear on this album is the opener Pulse, which displays heavy riffs, techy solos, brutal and clean vocals and a fantastic jazzy ending.

There is some great vocal variety on this album from vocalist Michael Rumple. The harsh vocals are usually pretty typical for death metal, but sometimes lean into “core” territory, though just barely, reminding me again of BTBAM. However, they are powerful and the vocalist has some range that he makes good use of, notably the whispery black metalesque vocals at the beginning of “Frostbitten Sky” (check out his black metal project Desiderium!). The clean vocals are strong, beautiful and well placed where used. The second track “Waves Within” makes great use of clean vocals after the heavy intro before plunging into more techy death riffing. The chorus vocals of “Awaiting us All” are also gorgeous sounding and there is some weird but cool airy falsetto in “The Man who Spoke in Braille.”

The guitar work of Zach Dresher (and Spencer Van Dyk on the track “The Man Who Spoke in Braille”) is pretty outstanding. The solos are speedy, melodic and technical, as you’d expect from this kind of music. However, the technicality is never in your face, the phrasing being remarkably tasteful. I even heard some bends, and vibrato in there! The tone is also nice and crunchy while not oversaturated. The riffs tend to be more groovy than technical, but this gives the songs some breathing space and makes for good dynamic song writing. It also makes the ridiculous tech riffs stand out and not get stagnant, such as the Originesque riffing around the two minute mark of “The Man who Spoke in Braille.” The use of clean and acoustic guitars is also well performed and integrated. There are a few timing and tuning issues that crop up now and then, such as on the acoustic piece “Tesselations” and some of the melodies throughout the album (Not sure if the dissonant sounding riffs / melodies at the beginning of “The Man who Spoke in Braille” are supposed to be that amelodic and grating or not....)

The Rhythm section of drummer Alex Finn-Dennis and bassist Blake Privette is tight and competent without being overbearing, which is much appreciated. The drums keep a consistent rhythm throughout the time and tempo changes, never delving in wankery, but still keeping things interesting. The bass mostly follows the guitar, but is thankfully audible and sometimes plays counterpoint to the guitar which adds a nice layer of melody and texture. Basically these guys are keeping it tight and playing to the song, showing restraint while also demonstrating their skill where it serves to the betterment of the song.

While the song writing is mostly tight, things can get a bit wonky. The intro to “Contextual Relevance” is a bit too stop /start and feels really tacked on to the song. Another example, the uber-chuggy breakdown in “Osedax” that kills the momentum of the song. However, the songs always pick up from their stutters and usually finish strong. The jazzy part in “Contextual Relevance” and the almost old school riffing in “Osedax” make up for the other bizarre choices in the songs. The aforementioned final track “The Man who Spoke in Braille,” clocking in at 10 minutes, gets a little disjointed, sagging a little, but not collapsing under its length and ambition.

Overall, there is some really great music here. Fans of modern progressive music should definitely check this out and keep an eye out for future releases from this band. With more polish, they could go far. Check it out! http://acrasia.bandcamp.com/

Tex's rating: 85%