Sunday, 25 December 2011

Obligatory Holiday Post

     This is how Christmas themes should be incorporated into heavy metal.  Have a doom filled Christmas! 

Friday, 23 December 2011

I hate it when people listen to music that I don't personally enjoy because I'm better than you.

I hate it when people say they like Whitechapel and they and they aren't talking about this: 

I hate it when people say they like "All that Remains" and they aren't talking about this:

I hate it when people say they like "Veil of Maya" and they aren't talking about this: 

I hate it when people say they like "Deathcore" and they aren't talking about this: 

Monday, 19 December 2011

People don't actually listen to music, they just hear sounds. (part 2)

     Folk metal is probably the most useless genre in metal... seriously.  Listen to this shit from start to finish.  Notice how there aren't any actual riffs?  The only function the guitars serve is for the pretense of being a "metal band" there is actually zero metal going on in this song.  The "riffs" remind me a lot of bands like Linkin Park in the sense that all they do is create an illusion of heaviness by palm muting a hand full of power cords and holding the same cords during the chorus.  This is only metal in an aesthetic sense, the composition in and of itself is closer to modern rock than anything even resembling metal.   The super weak gay melodeath vocals also serve to satisfy this pretense and fail equally.

      I am fully convinced that this dude wants to be a real singer but can't so he just tries to melodically growl hoping it will fit well with the music, it doesn't.  Why is he growling?  is he trying to sound malevolent and foreboding?  Is he trying to sound angry?  Is he trying to show any sort of emotion?  Or is he just simply trying to "do death metal vocals."  Do you think that "Evil Chuck" gave a fuck about "singing death metal style?"  Do you think he practiced using "proper techniques?" Do you think Varg was worried about what might happen to his vocal cords later on in life?  The entire point of harsh vocals in extreme metal is to convey some type of tangible emotion that the listener can relate to in a visceral way without having to necessarily understand the lyrics.  Check out these lyrics, do you think that these require harsh vocals to really make sense in context? Song number 4

     The use of unconventional instruments is nothing more than an ostentatious display of incompetent song writing and an excuse to have an extra 3 people to parade around on stage while 13 year olds gawk at the "uniqueness" of the music.  The object of every band member should be to contribute to the music and ultimately produce art, not show off the the sound that instrument makes.  Estatic Fear also has a hand full of extra members that play "flutes and lutes and shit" but there parts contribute to the music as a hole, not simply play a melody over 3 root notes.  The composition of this song is actually very lazy, it doesn't seem like much thought went into it.  Seriously, try harder.

    This is another example of how "artists" use an aesthetic for a gimmick and manage to sell an undeserved amount of records simply by playing "adjective metal."  Listen to this linkin park song, you will see the similarity in song structure.

Monday, 12 December 2011

rest in piece EVIL CHUCK!

     I don't claim to know whether or not it was Death or Possessed who were the first band to play the genre known as "death metal" but I don't really care.  Chuck Schuldiner was way ahead of his time, only one year after the release of "Kill'em all" Evil chuck is already ripping it up onstage in front of a drug induced audience of four people in Florida.  If that isn't musical genius, I don't know what is!